Reduce melodrama - respond differently.
I experienced a technical hiccup with my digital business which kept me busy problem solving for three days. It became about the problem. I became angry and frustrated because I couldn't resolve the problem in the timeframe that I wanted. I made this into a big melodrama. I found people to blame, I found a way to make the problem someone else's and I could hold them responsible instead of holding myself responsible.
The impact of this approach is that I was focusing on the negative - I made it way bigger than it really was. This caused the negativity to impact more broadly throughout all my life. I find myself talking to friends and family about it. Talking about it helps me to hang on to the problem. And I find myself spending more and more time focusing on the problem and not very much time talking about how about how I am solving the problem - what are the steps I am taking, what's the approach to resolve, who am I asking for help.
Upon reflection - I have become addicted to melodrama. I tested my new theory about myself by listening to myself when I met with my girlfriends for our regular Friday night drink - one glass of wine only but that time with friends is priceless to me. I found that when I actively resolved to not speak about the problems I have been experiencing during the week I didn't have much to say!!
That's not good. I concluded that I have become addicted to melodrama and it is building the presence of melodrama in my life. I reflected on how others - say senior managers or politicians - are surviving their incredibly stressful days and I concluded that it is all about how they approach the situation. They approach the situation in a calm and considered fashion - just like it is a situation to be worked through, not like it's a big drama
I applied this new approach to my technical situation. For all three days I worked hard to contain my emotional response. Day 3 I took a whole day off from the problem. In reality, there are no life-changing consequences of the fix not being found for 24 hours. Day 4 I sat down with a good night sleep, a clear mind and a coffee. I worked my way through the problem again. I researched and found a new source of knowledge. Before that source of knowledge had time to suggest a fix I stumbled across the fix myself.
I now apply this approach (sure, I'm practicing always) but I apply it as often as possible and over time the sense of melodrama in my life is reducing and calmness and achievement is growing and growing.
Contain melodrama - choose to not respond that way.
Have a calm day,